***Disclaimer: If you’re looking for an inspiring post or great ideas, this particular post is not it. It’s more vent/rant/brain dump. But maybe you feel the same way at times and can know that you’re not alone.
I haven’t been very inspired lately. Kind of in a funk.
And I came to a realization. I struggle with the start of every school year in the library. I also struggle with the end of every school year. Once I’m in it, in some sort of routine, and really interacting with my students, all is right with the world. But the beginnings and ends of school years are hard for me! Even though, with my 9 month library position, I’ve only been back officially for a week. But I’ve been at work all day every day for three weeks now. And I felt completely overwhelmed and burned out before the kids even showed up.
Textbooks, lost library books from last year, teacher and student usernames and accounts, computers and projectors not working, issuing student and teacher IDs — dealing with all of these things at the beginning of the year seem to suck the life out of me. This is the time when I want to be gearing up for library programs for the year, finalizing things for my new self-check out procedure, preparing for upcoming class visits and projects, and planning for my brand new multimedia class/daily news show. I want to be excited and eager to kick off the new school year. Instead, I’m losing my mind over two new textbook adoptions and the rest of things on the never ending to do list.
I hate that moment when I’m hit with the all too necessary realization that I am not Superwoman. The fact that this has happened in my life a number of times is probably telling. The realization usually comes after I have a complete meltdown (which is also probably telling, but hey, I’m an emotional kind of girl). With the realization comes a paradigm shift. Like I said, this has happened before in other areas of my life. So here’s what I think I’ve come to realize this past week:
I can’t let myself get worked up about things that are either not my problem or not in my control. It is absolutely ridiculous for me to be more concerned and worried about the math textbooks than the math teachers, the people who actually need and will use them. I’m not saying that I’m not dealing with textbooks because it is part of my job, but I cannot let myself be consumed with solving all the world’s math textbook problems at the detriment of the rest of my job (and life). Someone else with more control of the situation or need for those books can come to a conclusion about how they need to be dealt with, and then let me know. Then it will be dealt with and I will NOT be stressed about it.
I have to prioritize things. I read 18 minutes by Peter Bregman in the spring, thought it was great, but I think I wasn’t ready for it. Well, now I’m ready! I have to put first things first. Dropping everything to do something that someone else needs done is not the best way for me to take care of business. Saying “Later” or even, gasp, “No” is very difficult for me, but I need to work on it.
Despite the way I’ve been feeling, I know it’s going to get better. I know things will calm down, the library will fill up with students, and I’ll be happy. I’m just ready for that time to get here!
Anyone else out there struggle with back to school craziness in the library? Does anyone else feel like textbooks are like kryptonite?? How do you cope with feeling this way?